Last post of year 2006

This is going to the the final post for this year. Time flies. Not knowing it, there's another year. Before we know it, we're celebrating the coming of year 2007.

I have not been so lucky this last week of 2006. Fallen really sick for the past week, and have been doing nothing else but sleep at home. Not exactly my idea of spending the last week this year, but all's well now. I've recovered (partially- still feeling faint on occasions but that's fine). Tomorrow will be the last day of work before I call an end this year of hardwork. Will work even harder next year. Need more money!! Hahaha...

This year has been a great year for me, despite all the ups and down. Although the times I cried is probably equal to the times I laughed, but all's well. I'm happy this year. Been through so much, things are started to settle down back home, things is Singapore is starting to look friendly. Nothing more that I ask for.

For this year-end wish, I wish that everyone is in great health, and are in the company of loved ones. I realise nothing beats the warmth of the person that you love and who loves you back, knowing you're not alone out there. Appreciate things around you, nothing is going to be there forever. As time goes by, we're all growing older, and hopefully wiser too. Take care everyone, all the best for year 2007...

Crap Part IV ??

Oh.. oh...

As I was going through my blog, I realised that I've watched 45 movies this year. How the hell did I do that, I have no idea. I didn't even realise I spent so much time in the cinema. But then, why the year coming to an end, I have a really brilliant plan. I will try to watch 50 movies this year. That will be a nice closing to this year. At least I can say that I accomplished something this year. Ha ha...

While I'm typing this, there are so many typing mistakes that I have to keep correcting. If I publish the original post, I don't think I'll be able to understand what I'm trying to say, let alone you who are reading this.

Anyway, I should return to my online game. Too blur to do anything else.

Crap Part III

I just got back from two rounds of dinner. Felt that my one hour in gym this evening has gone to waste. Nothing to complain about I guess. The dinners are lovely, had loads of funny kind of meat today, including kangaroo and deer.

Actually, I have thought out what to write about in this post, but somehow, my brain is failing me. I can't remember a single thing, including why I'm writing this in the first place. Probably another piece of crap. Oh dear, oh dear.. have I really run out of things to blog about? Maybe I should just close this blog down, then I don't have to scratch my head everytime my conscience tells me that I have not been blogging often enough.

I got back from my San Francisco (via Hong Kong) trip yesterday afternoon. Nothing much to highlight about, except I managed to meet Kristie in San Francisco! Once I got the photos from my friend, I'll put it up. It was so nice chatting with you, Kristie, it's been so long!! I felt bad because I was so tired the whole time I was there. Sorry, but I will try to go to San Francisco again in January. *cross my fingers!!

Apart from meeting Kristie, I spent a lot on this trip. I just kept buying and buying, till I realised that my hands are tired from carrying the bags that I have been spending too much. Guess I have to live on bread and water for the next two weeks.

I think I need to get my precious beauty sleep now. Tomorrow I need to meet my darling at the airport. Till next time, ciao!

Crap Part II

I just came back from watching the movie 'Happy Feet'. A very cute and funny movie. Worth a watch if you have nothing better to do.

Tomorrow night I will be leaving to Hong Kong and then onwards to San Francisco the day after. Kristie, I can't wait to see you again!!! It's been so long, there's so much to catch up on. Wait for me, I'll be there!! Haha..

I named this post 'Crap Part II' mainly because I'm looking at my blog, and it's looking back at me, heck, why not another post of nothings. So, here I am, talking about absolutely nothing. Crap basically.

A request for all my architecture friends, is it possible to send me some of the Penang and Melacca pictures we took way back then? Those pictures about the old buildings, the Malacca establishment and stuff? Would be really happy to have those in my hands. Currently doing some stuff regarding it. Thanks a lot in advance!

Here I am again, looking at this crappy post, and it's looking back at me. Heck, let's click the publish button!

Crap

I have been so lazy recently that I did not even want to sit in front of the computer. I stop updating all the new places list, the movies' and books' list. All I want to do is lie down in bed, snuggle snuggle and do nothing. Probably read a page or two of a magazine. But that was what I wanted to do for quite some time. The flying around the world is starting to become more of a chore for me. Been pretty lazy and uninterested about going places. Maybe I need a break from traveling. Tired of unpacking and packing again.

BUT!! today has been a different day. I woke up early, cooked breakfast (it's such a huge achievement for me, I just need to note it down, haha) cleaned my room, did my laundry that has been piling up. And right now, I'm updating my blog, writing crap. Later I need to clear my workstation and dressing table. Bought this new wood protector spray that I must use. Haha.

Plus, today is also pay day. That also means that I'm going for a shopping spree. Christmas shopping! Woo Hoo! I just love christmas!! It gives the perfect excuse to blow the budget for the month. Haha...

Almost end of november, and again, I did nothing much this year. Sigh, not again.

I'm talking crap again. Oh no...

The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told
and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong
wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that wishes would be heard and answered when wished on the morningstar?
Someone thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell.
We know that it's probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

=The Carpenters ~ The Rainbow Connection=

Lift your glass of champagne

Expressions are necessary when all colors are grey
When all scenery is all but the same
When words that spoke of essence are gone
When all food taste like sawdust
Lift your glass of champagne, cheers to loneliness

Bid goodbye to the world of innocence
Close the chapter, roll out the carpet
Welcome to the lonely world of life
Lift your glass of champagne, and cheers

Living is the necessary evil
Where repentence is a sin
Guilt does not exist
In the hole that once housed the heart of many
Lift your glass of champagne, cheers...

The Biggest Lie

I'm the biggest liar in the face of this earth, and the person I lie to, is myself. Every morning I wake up and I tell myself, everything is good, everything is ok, even when my heart is telling me otherwise.

I have a job that is envied by lots of people. But so what? It's not something I've wanted. It's not who I wanted to be. It's not who I am. But I went on and tell myself that I love this job. I love the travels, the perks and everything about it. I love doing nothing on most of my days. I lied to myself, and the people around me. Deep down, I am trying so hard to conceal who I really am, who I really want to be.

Not that I didn't try to break free. I took a few steps, met a few deadends, and I stopped and whine. Saying things like, heaven is not on my side, why should I force my way through? No matter how hard I try, I'm still going to fall, going to get hurt and disappointed. So why bother at all? Why don't I just wallow in self pity and never get up? That was exactly what I did. I lied to myself.

Mentally I have given up everything of who I used to be. I don't want to turn back now, I lied to myself again and again. My current life is great, it's what I really wanted after all. But do I? Do I really? Yes, I heard myself lying again.

I've failed myself and my dreams over and over again. I shall never pick myself up again.

Mum and dad, I'm trying my best, but I've failed myself as a person. I'm sorry.

MY BLOG- UPDATED

I have been slacking again...

That is why I just posted 4 posts in one day.

There will be more to come.. but at the moment.. I'm just too sleepy to continue.

Enjoy the pictures! :)

Hong Kong

A day after I came back from Seoul, Nard and I went for a short getaway to Hong Kong. It was a fun trip, because I get to go to Disneyland! Ha ha...

=One of the streets of Hong Kong=

Oh, of course, we went to the usual tourist spots, like the Lady's Street, Wong Tai Sin Temple, and the Harbour where you get to see the light-show on the buildings from across the river.

=Wong Tai Sin Temple=

Despite the rumoured Hong Kong Disneyland to be sucky, I find that it is really not that bad after all. Of course, the mainland Chinese cut queues and spits everywhere, and that the Disneyland is very small, but I find the rides entertaining. In fact, with its small size, it is just nice to take all the rides in a day and still not rush from one to the other, unlike those huge Disneylands in Tokyo or LA where you have to rush the whole day to complete all the rides.

=Hong Kong Disneyland=

=On the Disneyland train=

=Anyone wants to get smacked?=

=Mickey=

Oh, and on the final day, paying no attention to my misgivings, Nard went ahead and bought himself three remote control planes. And we have to carry it all the way back. If I remember correctly, the box is almost as tall as me. Goodness, men and their toys.

=SMELLY TOFU!! yum-yum=

That aside, it's a fun trip and it's nice to get away from our chores at home sometimes.

Seoul

Kim Chi anyone?

I happened to be in Seoul the same time as Nard, but we only had enough time to meet for lunch before he leaves for Singapore. But we manage to take a walk nearby the hotel's day market. Fun!

London

I finally got the 'courage' to walk around London's tourists spots. I went to the Salisbury cathedral, Windsor castle, and the Stonehenge in my fourth trip to London. Lovely trip on a lovely trip, except for the part where we were herded from place to place in a rush. Never am I going to take a guided tour!

=Windsor Castle=

=Stonehenge=

=Salisbury Cathedral=

On my fifth trip to London, I went to London's Tower Bridge and Greenwich park. I also visited the Big Ben and took the ride on the world's largest ferris wheel, the London's Eye. The view from the Eye was breathtaking. It's worth its 13.50 pounds fee. Too bad I didn't have a proper camera with me. With my crappy Sony T-5, I took only limited good night shots. But great experience nonetheless! The Greenwich park is one of the main park that shows the Line that splits the east and west, the GMT.

=Tower Bridge=

=Greenwich Park, the GMT line=

=London's Eye=

=Big Ben=

Nard, you have been away the longest time.. i miss you.. come home soon..

9-11

It was September 11 when I woke up in my hotel room in London. My immediate reaction was to turn on the tv and the news channel. Scanning and listening to the news while preparing to go out for the day, I was relieved there was no terrorist attacks for that day. At least, not in the vincinity.

So, that day's plan was to go out and tour the part of London that I have not been, despite the fact that I've been to London for so many times. The Tower Bridge, Big Ben, London's Eye, the Greenwich park. Anyway, to cut the long story short, I went to all those places in a day's time.

During lunch with my colleagues, we were talking about my plans to go site seeing in London. They ask questions like, "Hey, you know it's September 11, don't you? You're still going out?" Oh well, I shrugged it off with the it's-been-five-years-dude attitude.

After coming back to Singapore and as I was looking through my photos, I stumbled upon the photos taken when I was in New York few weeks back. I went to Ground Zero, took some pictures (3 to be exact). It was too devastating a site. To think that the area has been a graveyard to thousands of people, it was just a heart-wrenching scene. Not only that, it has led to more deaths around the world, in Afghanistan, Iraq, London, Iran, India. Suddenly, the world is full of terrorists that wants nothing but to kill.

9-11 has started a war that is not going to end anytime soon. Five years has passed, the shadows of it remains. More and more people are dying in this war against terrorism. Even as I am writing this, there are people who die of gunshot, of bombs, of beatings.

Let's just take a break from our daily chores and have a quiet moment, to remember those who has left us and those who are still fighting...

It's a challenge!

About a few minutes ago, I stumbled across this site that says, 'List down ten things you love about your life...'

It got me thinking, it's not that easy to do just that. Us being human, it's much easier to list 100 problems rather than 10 things that we love about our life. Such ungrateful creatures we are. So here is the challenge, let's list down 5 things you love about your life in less than 10 minutes. When the time is up, let's see if you can fill up the numbers. No cheating here!

1. My traveling (1st minute)
2. The figure in my bank account. Muahaha (3rd minute)
3. Nard (4th minute)
4. My photo album that is categorized by countries (7th minute)
5. My family and friends (time's up!)

How hard can it be right? Hahaha...

Sick. Medicine. Sleep.

I fell sick again.

It has not been long since my last visit to the doctor, and yesterday after work, I have to visit the doctor again. Not exactly my favourite past-time. And the medicine, eeeuuww...

Time to take my medicine. And sleep.

Sigh...

Reflection by the plane's window

It's almost the end of August. Two-third of the year has passed me by. The other day when I was in London, I was on the phone with Yen Ling from that faraway place (it might be on another planet) Aberdeen, she said that 'life is like a toilet roll. The nearer you are to the end, the faster it rolls.' Can't help to agree with this cuckoo. Finally, she is making some sense.

Yet again, this post is going to be a reflection of what has happened this year. (More or less like how companies audit their financial position.. haha) This year has been an eventful year, a year full of soul-searching, endless with surprises when I least suspected it.

Right now, right here, I can proudly say that I've achieved one of my biggest dream. Which is to travel around the world, and hey, I'm only 22. I have been to a lot of places, but traveling has taught me a lot of things I never know I never know. It is a great revelation to me, because I have always been a person who never knew how to count my blessings, and now, I'm counting it.

Other dreams that I have consistently thought of coming true, is slowly coming into focus, so I can finally say that I have found the reason of my being, my destiny, as Paul Coelho would put it.

But at the moment, let's just enjoy the moment, and I'll blog more, earn more, eat more, shop more and be happy.. after all, I can only grow so much in a year right? Hahaha...

Melbourne

With last minute changes, I managed to go to Melbourne with nard last week. This is our first trip together, and it was fun.

We stayed in the casino hotel, which I complained so much about because it is so far away from the city. It is such a hassle to get city, either a 20 minutes walk or by the free shuttle provided by the hotel.

I just realised that Melbourne itself has quite a few places that is nice to sight-see. The past few times that I was there, I spent all my time catching up with my relatives, cousins and friends, that I overlooked the sightseeing part.

Then again, this trip to Melbourne, we didn't do much either. Just took lots of pictures by the river near the hotel. And there's this lovely red colored block of concrete somewhere. Lovely lovely. The next time I'm in Melbourne, I definitely going to explore more of the intimate parts of this subtle yet imposing city.

Jungfraujoch

Jungfraujoch (yung-fr-au-york)

Jungfraujoch to Zurich, via Kleine Scheidegg, Lauterbrunnen, Interlaken Ost.

17July2006 5:20PM Local Time (Zurich)

Jungfraujoch is The Highest Point in Europe. 3454m / 13642ft

To get to Jungfraujoch, it is better to purchase a One-Day Swiss Pass, which costs roughly about CHF.95. With this pass, the public transport in Switzerland is free to use for a day. There are certain routes that might need a purchase of tickt, but with the Swiss day pass, there's a 50% discount on most railways. (A guided tour to Jungfraujoch will cost roughly aboug CHF.200)

In the case of getting to Jungfraujoch, there is a 50% discount on the ticket from Wengen to Jungfraujoch, which costs about CHF.71. after discount. This purchase is necessary because from Wengen station onwards the Swiss Pass is no longer usable. But to get to Jungfraujoch, there is little need to stop by the Wengen station. The purchase of the ticket is just a formality. In the Swiss Pass map that is given, we can just bypass Wengen station and head straight up to the top of Europe.

From Zurich, the minimum times we have to change trains are three times. Not much stress about that because all the trains are mostly punctual, and the people in the tran station are always willing to help a lost traveler. Just make sure that it is the correct train before boarding and everything will be just fine.


The trip from Zurich to Jungfraujoch is an estimated 5 hours, give and take. So set out early and be prepared to come back to Zurich late. In my care, I left my hotel at 5am, to catch the 6am train in Bahnhofstrasse, arrived in Jungfraujoch about 10.40am, spent a few good hours there, catch the 1.50pm train down and now i'm halfway across the country on the way back to Zurich. Roughly we'll arrive about 7pm (in the hopes of having cheese fondue for dinner before leaving for Singapore tomorrow morning).

Jungfraujoch is always covered in snow, so it is advisable to bring a really thick jumper, wear wool socks, and if possible, wear a pair of good hiking shoes, plus a pair of sunglasses. Of course, not to forget is the camera. Even in the middle of summer, it is cold up there, no kidding. One point to take note if you're bringing your ipod with you, keep it in a warm place, be it underneath your shirt or in a thermal flask. My ipod (at this very moment) is screwed up by the cold temperature. At first it was heating itself up when I turn it on, then when it finally cool down, now I couldn't turn it on. So take good care of your electronics if you're bringing it up to any snow mountains. Oh, and not to forget to bring some snacks in case you're hungry during the train ride. Plus, the food up there is a little bit overpriced (as usual).

On the trip up to Jungfraujoch from Kleine Scheidegg, it is good to stop by Eismeer and the two stations before it (the train will actually stop at the stations for 5 minutes so that tourists and travelers alike can hop down to take some panoramic photos of Jungfraujoch). It has to be done on the way up because on the way back, the train will not stop at those stations. Don't worry about losing your seat if you hop down (the train is always crowded), what is that 10-20 minutes of standing in the train if you can get postcard photos?

When I reach Jungfraujoch, the first thing I did was use the toilet. Let's leave part of me on the tallest peak in Europe. Haha.

Getting down to business, I went to the Ice Palace (Eis Palais). Here, a good pair of hiking shoes comes in handy. My sneakers keep slipping on the ice floor. Everything is so cold, so cold. There are cute sculptures in the Ice Palace. I took a lot of pictures there. Although it is all ice, but what the heck.


Coming out from Ice Palace, we headed to a place called the Plateau. There, we walked outdoors to take pictures of the snow mountain and the surrounding area. Such breathtaking view, I can't believe I'm actually standing on a snow mountain. Even the photos looks too good to be true. I felt as though I juxtaposed a picture of myself on a postcard. Words can't describe the overwhelming sense contentment in my heart as I tell myself I'm on the highest peak in Europe. The snow are pure white, so white and bright that it pains the eye if you look at it for too long. That is why you need a pair of sunglasses.

Satisfied with the amount of photos I have taken, we went to the restaurant for lunch. After a slow lunch, relaxed our muscles and warmed up our toes, we went to the souvenir shop downstairs to get our all time favourtie souvenir, fridge magnets.


Walking away from the souvenir shop with a lighter purse, we went to the Sphinx Terrace. That is the observatory deck that is always shown on the tour brochures. The huge building on the top of the snow mountain, with a dome in the center. Over there, be it indoors or out, there are lots of angles to take pictures of this magnificent mountain. I just couldn't stop myself, running from point to point, just to bring home as much photographs of Jungfraujoch. Beautiful, splendid, simply breathtaking.

After all the excitement has died down, we decided it is time to head back to Zurich. Four hours thereoff, here I am, sitting in the train, writing all of these down, with the hopes of transfering it to my blog (which I did!).

It is 6.25pm now, another half hour to my cheese fondue dinner.

Note: This time round, it is actually the first time that I did not feel rushed to go to a place to sight-see. Everything seemed so effortless, I just go with the flow. I didn't feel that I have to go to all the places, take all the pictures till my camera's memory runs out. It is a totally different feeling. It is more of contentment, rather than achievement. I felt happy, and in fact, lucky to be able to go to Jungfraujoch just to soak in the beauty, instead of feeling proud that I've been there, done that, another item ticked off my list. I guess I'm finally feeling like a real traveler. Haha...

My Birthday Pictures!!

Flowers?














Cake Cutting Ceremony...

roller coaster ride

Funny sometimes when we are so happy with what we have, and there goes, a steep fall, a swerve to the right, to tell us that, hey, you're not so lucky after all.

I guess it gives me a wake up call when something I have so dreaded has happened. It told me not to take things for granted, and I should be up on-guard at all times. Be prepared for the worst to happen because when it really happens, then at least it is not going to hurt that much.

Sometimes I ask myself, why is it when I am just starting to realise the good things around me, starting to take out some courage to reach out, that I have to be thrown about in this ridiculous roller coaster ride? There I go again, losing my already loose footing in life.

Last night, after a night out to velvet, I came home and I sat in the living room, talking to my housemate. Exasperated, I asked her, 'if tomorrow is going to be a better day, why can't today be a good day?' All I get from her was a tiny note on my desk the next morning, saying, 'dear girl, when times are challenging, be strong and remember all those supporting you. Be happy.'

Tears came to my eyes, feeling grateful that the plunge downwards, the hard swerve to the right, the throwing about in this roller coaster ride, is actually a blessing in disguise. There are actually people who care about me, genuinely. And that is worth more than having hundreds of books in my library or traveling around the world.

I really want to thank her for the wonderful, and powerful note that made me realise, I do have something that I am proud of, my friends. They are really angels sent from above, and I love them. Just being there when I am bruised and beaten, giving me the shove just when I needed it most, or a hug when my materialisitic world is falling around me, is the greatest treasure on earth. I'm rich, I'm lucky, and finally I can say that I wiped off the tears and stand up to face this cruel, cruel world again.

red wine

Red wine. Three nights in a row. 2 bottles.

Wine. January to June. 18 bottles to date.

Plus champagne. 25 bottles.

Add some whiskey. More vodka. 30 bottles.

Some cheese at the side.

A few beers to share the fun. When there's no more wine.

Fine dining at Shangri-La. Another bottle please.

End of this year, a trip to the doctor.

Please don't drink and drive.

Thank YOU

I really needed this 9 days break from work. Although I did not manage to go anywhere because of visa problem, but I am still happy.

I spent about 2 days back in Kuala Lumpur with my family and friends, and I'm glad about that. At least there's some catching up with gossips and shopping!! Hahaha.. my dad said that I had shopped till I dropped in the few days I'm in KL.

I came back to singapore on the eve of my birthday, and nard took me for a nice dinner and arrange a surprise party for me after that. Although it was a small party, but it was really sweet of him. I love the roses and the cake! Muaks.. and to my housemate, I really love that dress!! Didn't know this kind of dress will look good on me.. hahaha.. A big wet kiss for you girls, MUAKS... and the girls night out was fun just now.. can't wait for the next one!

And for all my dear friends around the world, thank you for the phone calls and messages. It was lovely to know that you guys still remember me and my birthday.. and sean, I love that dog, although it's not pretty (just like you! haha)..

I still don't have the pictures of my birthday party, but once I get my hands on it I'll post it up...

P/S: I really love the roses, nard, just can't stop looking at it!

My Dirty Laundry

Almost six months has passed for this year, and a lot of things has not been done. Especially my laundry. I have no idea why there is no way I can finish doing my laundry. It's always there and it's forever piling up, no matter how often I wash them, dry them and iron them. Who created clothes in the first place anyway? I'm happy stark naked.

Or maybe someone should just invent clothes that can clean on its own, or stain free clothes. Now, as I'm writing crap here, the washing machine is working very hard. Half hour from now I will be working hard hanging them up under the sun. And the business of folding and ironing when it's dry later tonight, it's driving me crazy!!

The ordeal of organizing the pile of clothes into light-colored and dark colored, then dumping into the washing machine, taking the washing powder from the cupboard, pouring in the softener, it's hell a lot of work. Maybe I should consider wearing the same clothes over and over again.

That said, I still have to do my laundry. I can hear my washing machine saying 'it's your turn to work now...'

%#@&#!#!

It's time to wake up

"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"

Such cliched phrase, yet it has its own truth.

I have been living in the past for too long. Every time I met someone that does not belong to my current lifestyle, I get that all too familiar feeling. "The good old times", that's what I say, all the time.

I realize it's no use dreaming about the past, about how good it was, about how badly I wanted to go back to the world that I fit into. Where I was the winner, not someone who is struggling in another world. Oh god, how long has it been since I felt good about myself?

I have been depressed, sad and beaten for the longest time... about three years and a half years since the first wave of depression hit me.

Now I tell myself, it's time to wake up. Get on with life and stop whining about how unfair fate is treating me. Now I will pave my own way and I will end up where I belong, once again. This time no matter how hard I fall, I will climb back up again, because I want to be there. I will be there.

Wish me luck!

Now now.. I know most of you are saying, FINALLY!!

All I want is, EVERYTHING

Sometimes I realize that i have been asking too much from life.

Just today i was in MPH scouting for some books, then my eyes fell upon this wonderful book, titled "All i want is, EVERYTHING." But of course, I didn't buy the book (I didn't even lift the book up to read what it is all about). I don't think I need the book to remind me just how greedy I am.

Sometimes I just wonder whether I've wondered too much. I think too much about life. I ask too much from life. I want too many things that are unreachable. I basically am too absorbed in my own 'wants', too full of myself, that the world has to revolve around me. Great revelation, huh?

Not that I feel bad about it. But at times I do feel frustrated for not having what I want. Then again, this is being human, right? Not?

Do I really have to lower my expectation just to be happier in life? Do I really have to give up my dreams just because I am no exception in this human race? Why am I crying most of the time thinking that my life is just not good enough, that my life is just not moving forward? Everywhere I look is dead-end. No light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe I just choose not to see it.

Haven't I got a job that allows me to travel the world? And get paid well for it? Haven't I have great friends that I can call my support group if I'm not happy? Haven't I have a supportive family that allows me to do whatever I chose to? Am I not much luckier than most people in this world who has to worry about their next meal? Then why the hell am I complaining so much about my life? Why the f** am I so unhappy and unsatisfied about my job?

I hate being in the condition that I am right now. An old friend that I met up with last nite said that I am no longer the girl he used to know. Where is she anyway? I am asking myself the same question. I've turned into someone who is needy, desperate and pathetic. Someone who desperately need something or someone to cling on just to survive. Lost my identity. Where is a.l.i.c.e? Where the hell is she?

I am so pathetic.

*llorar*

Roma @ Italia

I came back from Rome about 24hours ago, and I still am not able to shake off that feeling of awe that I have been to Rome. I mean, it's my dream destination (apart from Spain), and I was there!

***

Rome, when it's mentioned, a romantic city, filled with wonders in architecture and art will come to mind. It need not be explained further. Walking through narrow passages with three to four stories tall building built closely together, taking in the smell of freshly brewed coffee, or just licking away to heart's content a huge cone of gelato, it is Italy we are talking about.

On a lazy summer day, with pigeons everywhere in the square, people enjoying the fine weather sipping coffee outdoors, street-musicians filling the air with sweet music, artists showing off their skills in paintings, sketches, waters sprung out from fountains under the sun that makes it look like gleaming crystals in the air, what more could you ask for from this beautiful city?

***


Pantheon, an architecture marvel, such huge dome built almost 2000 years ago (although the hole in the centre still makes me wonder about what happens on rainy days), it is a marvelous experience to be in such significant symbol of Roman architecture. I tried taking pictures of the hole and the dome, but the huge scale just does not permit the whole building to be captured into one single shot on my camera. I felt honored to be there, to touch and experience something that is so old, so solid, so prominent in history.

***

Trevi Fountain. The place where it is famous for making a wish and throwing a coin into it. I made a wish and threw a coin. I do hope that wish comes true. What that wish is? I'm keeping it a secret.

The day that I arrived in Rome, it was a Easter Sunday. Imagine the crowd in the whole city. Although Trevi Fountain is famous for being crowded everyday for the whole year, but I was just seeing humans and humans everywhere. It was so packed, we have to seize the split second opportunity to just stand next to the fountain to make a quick wish and throw a coin. Funny sight it has been.

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Spanish steps. Although I am not too sure what is so special about this, but I went there anyway. Apparently it was a beautiful steps especially if viewed during sunset. I felt sorry that I could not appreciate the beauty, one because I know nothing about the history, two because it was so bloody crowded with people and three, because I was not there during sunset.

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Vatican city. Need I say more? It's Easter. It's holiday. It's crowded. I mean, there's not much space to offer, being the smallest independent state in the world. Took photos from outside of the building and had a splendid dinner around that area. I wanted to enter to be blessed by Pope and join in the communion, but the queue was just way too long, I gave up (don't have much time to spare anyway, have to rush off to Coleseum).

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Coleseum. Picture Gladiator and it's glorious entry into the place.
Picture Coleseum again. There you have it. Despite it being in ruins, it is still standing proud. I can just feel the strong vibe that it is giving as I walked around it. A very proud Roman building indeed. I passed by the Coleseum on my second night on the way back to the hotel, the whole place was lighted up, and it was simply breath-taking. Forget about the bits and parts that has fallen down, it is telling a story of its own, fighting against time, against modernization.

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The Leaning Tower of Pisa. The most important building on my must-see list. It took me 3 hours to get there by train and the train fare is sky high. But it was worth the pains of waking up 6am in the morning, sitting on an uncomfortable seat for 3 hours and almost emptying my bank account for the train ticket.

When I was there, all things were forgotten, it was just Pisa and I. Despite it being a bell tower, not a huge one, but it just gives off this feeling of awe, of wonder, of marvel. You just feel like sitting down on the grass, looking at it. Simply beautiful. It is funny how some things has the ability to move your heart, to shake your senses. Just like looking at a beautiful painting, this small petite tower will make your eyes glued to it, never leaving sight of it.

A friend of mine jokingly said that we are just wondering at human errors. The building is not meant to be leaning sideways anyway. If it was a normal bell tower, not leaning whatsoever, I doubt it will be as famous as it is today. Nevertheless, I spent the whole day there, just drinking in the wonderful Pisa Tower.

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Food is good as well. I don't remember eating and drinking so much for the past few months as I did in Rome. Brioche (crossiants), cappucinos, wines, latte, pastas, pizzas, gelatos, you name it, I tasted it. Even the McToast in McDonalds for breakfast is fantastic. Well, I was just plain stuffing myself silly.

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Loved every moment in Rome, I don't mind going back there again, just to enrich my experience in one of the world's richest city in history and architecture.