Because of you...

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hard

I've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you, I am afraid...

A series of conversations. A chain of events. A trail of experiences.

I was digging up some old entries that I wrote few years back in my old website, when I come upon one article that once, used to mean a lot to me. So here I am now, trying to revive the revelation I have found when creating this once new post.

April 20, 2004 - A series of conversation. A chain of events. A trail of experiences.

"Recently, I have been exposed to a new way of looking at things. It was not a great revelation, but it enlightens me all the same.

I am grateful for all the things that happened in my way. Starting from the moment I utter the first word in my life, till right now, this moment. The good, and the bad, I am totally thankful. Without all these things happening to me, I will not understand, I will not learn, I will not appreciate.

On my first day in kindergarden, I would not learn to mix with other kids of the neighbourhood, if my parents did not let go of their hand and push me forward into the classroom. I will not understand the meaning of secrets, until my first friend betray me with her seemingly inability to keep her mouth shut. I will not appreciate the value of friendship until the first friend that asked me how I was doing when I recovered from my sickness.

I will not learn when to say things, and when to be silent when my friends are talking, if quarrels did not exist in my life. I will not understand the power of family warmth, until I came back from my first-ever outing. I will not appreciate life, if all things are never to happen in my life.
All these said, I will not be who I am today, if it is not because of the little things that happened in my life, good AND bad. Here I am now, thanking all those who has come into my life, thanking all the little things that come my way, thanking all the big things too, and thanking all those who allow me to enter their lives.

All things are connected to one another.

Things had happened, big or small, good or bad, either way, it has touched my life in a way I have never known before. "

-A series of converstions. A chain of events. A trail of expriences-

My blog

My conscience has been nagging me for not updating my blog for the longest time. Not that I feel guilty or what, it’s just that I have to blog because it’s time to blog. Please pardon me for this currently crappy blog because I have been overworked by my company and now I’m feeling really tired and shitty.

I just came back from Bombay this morning and I only have about 2 hours sleep before I was waken up by a full bladder and an invitation to join my friends for a chicken rice lunch in Katong. Not that I’m complaining, it’s fun, because I ended up spending half the day in IKEA window shopping. Quite a diversion, huh? Haha..

My Chinese New Year celebration has turned out to be good despite the fact that I was only able to spend about 48 hours with my family. It was all good fun, good laughs, and good time spent. Although I was not able to return home for reunion dinner on the eve, but I could still spend most of my time with my parents. After being away from home for the really first time, I could finally understand what family warmth is. Great experience!

This particular post is supposed to be and update of what I have been doing and where I’ve been for the past one month. So I will try to make a short paragraph for everything worth mentioning. I hope it is not too boring for you.

I was finally being sent to Adelaide! It was a really nice trip because we rented a car (and I drove!!!). So we went around Barossa Valley, spent some time in Rundall mall and Glenelg Beach. Met up with a friend and this was nice because he managed to show us around. (but at the end of the trip, my bank account was drained because of the car! Ugh.. hahaha)

Oh, last but not least, about my dreams. Recently I have been having really weird dreams that absolutely nothing to do with real life or what I am doing at all. One particular dream is so funny that I should just post it here.

“I dreamt that one day I woke up in the morning and found out that Singapore has been bombed by the USA, and we have to take refuge in Iraq in a fighter plane. Later during the flight of the plane, I meet with a guy who can actually speak the ‘fish’ language. When we arrived in Iraq, we found out that the Iraqi king has apparently been working the fish overtime, and the fishes are underpaid. These are translated by the guy to me because I saw him talking to the fish by scooping waters to his ears. Then wanted to investigate the truth because we wanted to fight for the fishes’ rights, we turned invisible and entered the Iraqi king’s palace. Halfway through the hall, the king ran amok and threw a glass to the floor. Unfortunately, the glass hit us and we are not invisible anymore. The king saw us and sent his army after us. Running down the stairs of the palace we passed by fishes that has been helplessly smashed into curry powder by the cruel king, then, *snap* I awoke from my dream”

I realize that this dream is absolute nonsense. But none the less, I think I’m turning my blog into a blog full of crap and shit. Well, is it a time for a makeover (again)?